Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
