just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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