It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
