on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
