Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
