my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
