Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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