Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
