I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
