I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had to cum in my sink.
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