You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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