My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
