he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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