HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
