all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize