I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
