I swear she didn't look like that last week.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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