We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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