how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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