great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
be right there i have to get my cape
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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