jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
