Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
