Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
