It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
