it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
