Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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