ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
