Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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