I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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