Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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