Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize