that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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