P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
