you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
