she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
