fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
