The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
