ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You can't motorboat a personality
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
