sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
