Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize