she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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