well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
