his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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