Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
