You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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