I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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