I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hippo gnu deer
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
