I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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