Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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