Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
