I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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