i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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