I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
