Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
