I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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