Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
