OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
