The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
