you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
