A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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