yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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