Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
