i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize