Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
