I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
