At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
