Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
